January 23rd, 2009 by Logan
Monster Trucks. The very name conjures up images of grown men in tattered sweat pants, their screaming children sporting rat tails regardless of gender, and a smell that I can only describe as a combination of gasoline and hotdogs. This was all conjured up before I actually attended Monster Jam, held in Detroit’s Ford Field this past Saturday (Saturday Saturday!). It was suggested beforehand that I write this as a comparison between Monster Trucks and Professional Wrestling, the latter being something that I was at one time quite fond of, which lead me to believe that what I was about to witness would be essentially the automotive equivalent of going head-to-head in the squared circle. Not that I expected the cars to attack each other with folding chairs, but I thought there would at least be driver rivalries, clearly-defined faces and heels, and a story line people would be aware of and passionate about.
What I actually got was more like a high school soccer match. As far as I could tell, the drivers were reasonably serious about “winning,” spectators cheered for their favorites but never really got caught up in it to the point of mouth-frothing, and with the exception of a few drunk outliers, everyone was more or less well-behaved.
Monster Jam begins with the only actual competitive part of the night, straight-up racing. Four laps around the field, one-on-one, the winner advances. As this was the first event, I was still expecting some wrestling-style shenanigans, and at points it did in fact seem like lesser-known drivers were throwing their respective races. Batman, one of the most famous trucks, was taking much tighter turns and easily won the event (maybe he’s just a smarter driver?), although it should be noted that some big-name trucks lost early, including a (I think) home-town favorite “Built Ford Tough.”
After the races fans were treated to some Demolition Derby and Motocross. The former was pretty self-explanitory and just so happened to be my favorite part of the night. Motocross consisted of three riders doing various jumps in a non-competitive way. At the end one flipped all the way around in the air. Yay.
Finally we got back to some truck action. The last part of the night was devoted to “Freestyle,” in which the trucks had a few minutes to drive around the track, now noticeably more jump-filled, at which point they were scored by a team of invisible judges. This was all very, very fishy. Most scores were met with boos by the fans, as they bore little correlation to what we had all just witnessed. I’m not sure if the scores are explained when watching a Monster Jam event on TV, but in person none of it really made sense. Most trucks did more or less the same routine, which pretty much consisted entirely of jumps, crushing cars, and doing wheelies (this latter part struck me as strange — why do people want to see this?). The last truck to go was GraveDigger, who, judging by the crowd response, is like the Monster Jam equivalent of Stone Cold Steve Austin circa 1998. After maybe a minute of standard fare, GraveDigger landed awkwardly and one of his back wheels fell off entirely. What!? Then, in what was probably the only time I was really amazed, he proceeded to give the “Stone Cold Salute” to reason and kept going, even landing a pretty impressive three-wheeled jump before officials had to put a stop to it. Everyone was grumbling as they headed towards the exits.
All in all it actually was pretty fun, but really I think I would’ve preferred three hours of Demolition Derby. These kind of events are always more fun when you watch the show regularly on TV, but even for a complete n00b there’s plenty of spectacle to be entertained by — just don’t go in expecting story lines rich with crooked promoters, blood feuds, and Redneck-baiting Hollywoodians.
When GraveDigger was cut short I was legitimately disappointed and in that moment I realized that my previous misconceptions about Monster Jam and it’s fans were childish and silly. After all, I used to get worked up about Pro Wrestling, and to this day I still yell at the TV during NBA games. For some people, a giant truck is no different then a giant basketball player — or even a giant Andre.
Tags: monster jam, monster trucks, pro wrestling, rednecks
Posted in Reviews | 1 Comment »
December 31st, 2008 by Logan
Tags: death, meme, paul reiser
Posted in Lulz | No Comments »
December 13th, 2008 by travis
Rich Retyi, Ypsilanti gentleman and friend of the blog came up with a set of twenty-five guidelines of Ypsilanti Gentlemanism. While these rules may not all apply to you, they can be used as a barometer to measure your own gentleman-ness. Feel free to leave your own Gentlemen’s rules in the comments section, as this list can, and always should be evolving.
A gentleman knows what socks go with what outfits and never to wear knickers.
A gentleman brushes his teeth.
A gentleman knows how to drive in the snow.
A gentleman knows that you begin with the fork farthest from the table setting and that mercy is for the weak.
A gentleman talks the talk and walks the walk.
A gentleman always towels off the elliptical trainer when he is done working out.
A gentleman has a credit card that earns him valuable points for each purchase.
A gentleman knows how to score on a sweet wrap-around in NHL 94 on the Sega Genesis system.
A gentleman never orders for a woman at a restaurant.
A gentleman knows how to ride one of those old fashioned bicycles with the one giant wheel and the one small wheel (officially called a high-wheel or penny-farthing bicycle).
A gentleman never curses in front of his grandmother.
A gentleman always rings twice.
A gentleman has the number of a good tailor and a good abortion doctor handy at all times.
A gentleman is well-versed in the Marquess of Queensbury rules.
A gentleman can deliver a crushing bodycheck and blow past an offensive lineman to sack a quarterback.
A gentleman does not have an “It’s Fuckin’ Time” playlist on his iPod. He does have a sweet 80s mix playlist though.
A gentleman never goes to a fortune teller. He makes his own fortune.
A gentleman has seen Cool Hand Luke, Raiders of the Lost Ark and at least one Tom Hanks romantic comedy. Turner and Hooch does not count.
A gentleman belongs to at least one Fight Club.
A gentleman knows that soccer is football, football is gridiron and cricket is gay.
A gentleman knows the best meats and cheeses to put on sandwiches.
A gentleman fills out all the divorce papers to the best of his knowledge and pays for all the mailing fees.
A gentleman knows at least one dinosaur joke to tell the kiddies.
A gentleman is prepared for the rapture. And a zombie uprising
A gentleman at least tries to grow a mustache. If this is a failed venture, the face should remain clean shaven. No one appreciates a trash ’stache.
Tags: gentlemen, how-to, mustache, rules
Posted in General Interest | 3 Comments »
October 20th, 2008 by Logan
Pavement - And Then
Welcome to the first in a series of YGC-approved song downloads. We’re kicking off this epic series (see all the zeros?) with a classic song from a classic band — And Then by Pavement. This was only ever released as a vinyl-only b-side, but was a live staple for some time. Eventually the song was neutered and became The Hexx on Terror Twilight. Matador is getting ready to release the deluxxe version of Brighten the Corners, and this song makes a couple appearances. I suggest going to buyearlygetnow.com and pre-ordering your copy — the first few people to do so get a vinyl copy of the oft-rumored Live album for free!
Tags: mp3, pavement
Posted in YGCMP3 Series | No Comments »
October 17th, 2008 by travis
I planned on writing a long, possibly eloquent review of one of my favorite new beverages. Instead, I bought DRAGON JOOSE, which, as gravity stole Christopher Reeve’s ability to move, stole my ability to write. At all. Here, in full, is the ‘review’ I was able to hammer out while under the influence of this sicklingly sour/sweet brew:
You want to get drunk but have an insane craving for Sour Skittles. You can’t afford both. DRAGON JOOSE has you covered.
In the interest of public information, I’ve compiled a list of pros and cons pertaining to DRAGON JOOSE.
Pros
- 9.9% ABV
- Tastes like apple cider despite being purple
- Looks more like an energy drink than most other caffeine/alcohol beverages
Cons
- Will keep you up all night
- Tastes like apple cider despite being purple
- You may be asked to pledge a fraternity if seen drinking DRAGON JOOSE by the right (wrong) people
There you have it; drink at your own peril. That small part of you that loves being hungover will thank you in the morning. I was going to make a list of new slogans for this stuff, but the makers of JOOSE have that pretty well covered. I’ll leave you with one example that they haven’t thought of yet:
DO weeze the JOOSE.
www.drinkjoose.com
Tags: Booze, Caffeine, Confusion, Dragon Joose, Hangover, Joose, Skittles
Posted in Reviews | 1 Comment »
October 16th, 2008 by Logan
The brand new Ypsilanti Gentlemen’s Club (2.0) is open for business. I’m going to keep working on the code for awhile, but I think right now we have a stable enough platform to start populating. Email or leave a comment if you notice anything not working (and yeah, I’m already aware of how strange individual entries look right now. I’m on it).
Tags: business
Posted in Internal Affairs | 1 Comment »
October 3rd, 2008 by Logan
YpsilantiGentlemensClub.com is different! Wha? More soon…
Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
